Yes, I know it's Holy Week. I know it is a time of prayer, deep reflection, and grief, followed by a time of joy and celebration. But the reality is, that in order for most members of a congregation to fully experience Holy Week, the parish leadership has to spend hours and hours preparing for and leading the various liturgies, meals, and other events that take place.
So actually, it's kill the choir, clergy and church leadership week!
I deliberately chose not to rejoin the choir when I returned to Grace. Given the nature of my job, I didn't feel like I could make that kind of commitment to a small group, where the absence of one voice could make or break an anthem. It was also a bit selfish on my part--I didn't want to add another evening to my church involvement at this stage of my life. I spend 35+ hours per week working in a church organization. I co-mentor an Education for Ministry group at another parish. I have taken on the job of webmaster for the parish, and I participate in other leadership activities there as well.
Because I'm not in the choir, I am not as involved in the massive Holy Week effort as I was before.
That being said, however....
Last week Lois asked me if I would play flute during the processional into the church for this morning's celebration. Then the coordinator of the Passion reading asked if I would read Jesus. And this morning as I was trying to finish getting the music "under my fingers," Lois asked if I would read the Gospel for the Liturgy of the Palms. I looked at her and joked, "What is this? Because I'm not in the choir, you've all decided this is 'kill Jeffri day?'" She smiled and said, "No, just preparing you for your life to come."
Remind me never to ask God for a burning bush again. I've been finding too many placed in my path over the last year! (More about that in some later post.)
Standing in front of the congregation reading Jesus' words was difficult. In past years, the part was has been read by several folks, but so many of us in the parish remember Leroy Ellis (now gone to God, as they say) reading these same words multiple times over the years. When he read "Eli, eli, lema sabachthani" it sent chills up our spines. There was no way I was going to replicate that, so I didn't try. Each of us reads our own way.
That, however, was not the difficult part. As I stood at the top of the chancel steps and looked out over the congregation I felt exposed. As Jesus was a lightning rod in Judea for many reasons, to a lesser extent I have been a lighting rod in this congregation--and could be again. Why? Because I am the only openly gay or lesbian person in the parish. Note, I did not say the ONLY one, I said the only OPEN one. Some days I think about how easy it would be to drive about another mile to attend St. Paul's on the Green where they have a much more diverse congregation that includes a significant number of lbgt folks.
On the other hand, I will be fully participating in "kill the staff fortnight plus" at the Episcopal Church Center. We all remain in our present jobs until April 7th, when the new structure takes place. In the meantime, many of us are being given reading material, attending meetings, and doing various other tasks that relate to our new positions. We also know that we will continue to do tasks related to the old jobs once we are in the new ones. For the Center for Evangelism and Congregational Life staff, of which I will be a member, we have a two day retreat at the end of March.
Oh, and did I mention we have to pack up our offices and cubicles and move? I'm the move coordinator for the soon to be defunct Ministries with Young People Cluster. And when do we expect the crates to arrive so we can pack? During the two days I will be with the Evangelism and Congregational Life staff on retreat. And when is the designated packing period? The week of March 31 - April 4, the same week I will be in Vancouver for the Start Up! Start Over! conference. Fortunately, there are enough folks who will be travelling that week, and enough of us who will be on retreat March 27th and 28th that they will probably be bringing in some crates early.
So my life this week will be one of tension. In the midst of the challenges of this coming work week, I am also mindful of the need to find quiet time for contemplation and prayer. But I'm not sure I should ask God for help. I might get sent another burning bush!
Peace,
Jeffri
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