The Long And Winding Road - Part 2

So after that afternoon experience on the Madison street corner, I did the next logical thing. I called the chaplain at Rockford College and made an appointment to see him. I planned on spending Homecoming Weekend with friends, so I was going to be there anyway. And while I had graduated the prior Spring, I still hadn't settled into First Congregational Church in Madison quite enough to know the clergy there yet.

David and I had a good conversation. He asked the right questions. And then he did two things. First, he told me I needed to go and have some life experience before pursuing a call to ordained ministry. As I traveled this twisted path, I learned that it was a common thing told to young adults of my generation (and those just before and just after) who expressed an interest in or a sense of call to ordination. "Go away and come back when you're older," we were told in large numbers. Of course, now the church is crying out for young clergy. I'll come back to that shortly.

The second thing David did was try to steer me into Christian Education. Back in the early 1980s, Christian Education was still primarily Sunday School and considered the realm of women in the church. Not that it made a difference to me, if I felt that had been my call. And ironic, considering my last professional position was with the Episcopal Church in Christian Formation.

When I did get to know the clergy at First Congregational better, I talked to them about my call, and they told me pretty much the same things David had. There were plenty of other things to do, and I remained active in the church.

Then I dropped out of graduate school because I couldn't find a job in Madison at that time (early 80's, bad economy). I came back east, spent a few months living with my parents while I got back on my feet, and started looking for a new church. That search took about five years.

I'm going to skip part of the journey for this post because I want to focus on the age issue.

Flash forward 12 years or so. I'd been in the ordination process for a few years. I hadn't been told "no," but neither was I being moved forward. Circumstances both at my parish and in the diocese caused delays. The parish got a new rector, and I was finally able to pick up the thread again. Bill and I had continuing conversations. He had difficulty seeing a call, I had difficulty articulating things with him. He expressed concern about the way my spiritual director was working with me, "Not the traditional method of spiritual direction." If I'd been quicker on the draw, I'd have told him that he wasn't exactly following the "traditional method" of discernment.

Eventually, he ended our conversations by saying that he really thought I was too old to be starting this process. It was the day before Ascension Day, 2002. I was 42. A couple of weeks later I went to Hartford to see one of my friends ordained to the Diaconate--she was part of a group of 12 heading for ordination as priests. As I sat there looking at the twelve I realized that 10 of those postulants were older than me, many by a good 10 years. Those 10 were also all women. The two MEN were younger than me. That message came through loud and clear.

So I've been caught at both ends of the pendulum's swing.

More about what happened in the middle later.