Just when I think I've seen the last of it, I stumble across that old argument against openly queer people in positions of public responsibility. It is often most virulent where our school systems are concerned. The premise is that an openly queer teacher will influence our children and youth to become queer.
Really?
I went through my entire time in the Darien Public Schools without encountering a single openly queer teacher. Years later, I learned there were some queer teachers, closeted of course, but I was never in their classes. No teacher ever made an inappropriate approach toward me. No teacher ever even so much as hinted that there were queer people out there in the world. I was so naive that I didn't even know what was going on between a large number of my fellow students, in school, in spite of the watchful eyes of the teachers. Everything around me supported the heterosexual norms of society.
So why ain't I straight?
Because obviously, according to the conservative argument, someone in a position of authority or influence influenced my choices.
Male bovine droppings!
My brother actually had at least one of those closeted teachers in the classroom, and he's straight. I never did, and I'm gay. In fact, I didn't knowingly meet any openly queer people until I was in college, and the first one was actually younger than me. He never laid a hand on me either, except to cut my hair. We weren't each others' type. But he, even as effeminate as he was, showed me that there were many types of gay men. He was also one of the first people I knew to die of AIDS.
It's time to put this old, ridiculous, bigoted argument away. Our queer children and youth need positive role models. They need to see that there are all sorts of queer folks, just as there are all sorts of straight folks.
*A note to all my elementary school and English teachers: Remember that dictionary you were always telling us to look things up in? Ain't is in it! It's the contraction of "am not" and is more correct than aren't, even though it's frowned upon as a sign of being uneducated.
Jeffri darling, thank you for writing about this. It is SO important that "queer" youth have positive role models, and you certainly are one. I have always maintained that it does not matter WHO you love; it only matters THAT you love. Thank you for speaking out.
ReplyDeleteOh Jeffri, you have taught/are teaching me so much. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteJeff, well said.
ReplyDeleteI remember when I was in the discernment process for the priesthood and as required, I took a psychological exam. The psychologist wanted to blame my homosexuality on my parent's divorce. The ways that some people view homosexuality and justify or belittle its presence in the world is unbelievable. I feel that it's my personal duty to be a role model and to be an example that homosexuals are not deviants. Keep writing, friend.
My mother blamed herself for my siblings being gay. She kept asking what she had done.
ReplyDeleteGay, straight, - ALL kids need positive role models- period. Time for those old, fearful attitudes to die. A great teacher is a great teacher. My co-op teacher was one the best- she influenced countless lives in positive ways over a long teaching career. She was out but remained discreet around the workplace. Did any of her students come out? No idea- but many of them have become compassionate, caring people who are making a positive contribution in the world.
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