A Fluting Memory

Reconnecting with high school friends refreshes memories--some good, some bad, and some neutral. This evening as I prepared to practice I thought about something that took place during my senior year.

That year our band participated in an exchange with one of the high schools in Springfield, MA. The exchange consisted of visiting each other's hometowns, spending the weekend together, and performing a three part concert--them solo, us solo, and all of us together. We went to Springfield first.

The weekend they came to Darien we held a rehearsal after school on Friday. While they rehearsed, we sat in the auditorium to listen. Behind me sat two of the sophomore percussion players. Frank and John were among those who harassed me verbally during my high school years. As we watched, Frank turned to John and said in a voice that he clearly meant for me to overhear, "Should we tell Jeff what we heard about him."

I figured I'd take the bait and turned around. "Go ahead. I've probably heard it before."

"One of the girls in their band," Frank smirked, "said that the boy flutist in our band is gay."

Of course, there was only one boy flutist in our band, me. "So?"

"Is that because you already heard it, or because you are?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out." I got up to move elsewhere.

At which point Frank said something rude and sexual in nature. John giggled.

I turned to them and leaned over toward Frank and said, "Any time you want, Frank. Just let me know." And walked away.

Understand I had not even begun to think about Coming Out at that point. But as a senior graduating in a couple of months, I figured I had nothing to lose in standing up to these two. Neither percussionist bothered me again.

Looking back, that was my first baby step toward Coming Out of the Closet. I probably can't attribute it directly to playing the flute, but it is connected to being a flutist.