Winter Arrives, Advent Ends, Insecurity Abides

Winter began today, but we've already had two snowstorms, Friday's a major one. We expected more today, but we ended up with rain. If it had been snow, we would have been buried like further north--a friend of mine said they had close to 14" in Danbury.

I'm done with Winter. I'm ready for Spring.

The problem is that there is no Spring without Winter. No Easter without Good Friday. No Good Friday without Christmas. No Christmas without the Annunciation. No Annunciation without... All the way back to the Creation, and no Creation without God.

I've been having a "where is God in all of this" year. Discerning about my job. Discerning about the parish. Discerning about a call to ordained ministry. Everything is up in the air; life is in flux, and yet things seem stuck. As I look at what is going on in the church--the parish, the denominational headquarters, the Episcopal Church, the Anglican Communion, and the larger Church--I find myself asking again and again, "God, what are you thinking!?!? Why me, and why now?"

And yet, every now and then, I get glimpses of the answers. Like this morning during Lois' sermon on the Annunciation:

Saying yes to God's call often means saying yes to Holy Insecurity.

Having hope means trusting that God has not forgotten the recipe for manna.

Of course, glimpses of the answers are more often than not immediately followed by the appearance of more questions. So for now I will work on learning to live in Holy Insecurity and to have hope.

Peace,
Jeff