Can You Even Call It A Marriage?

Over the past couple of days upcoming divorce of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries has received almost as much coverage as the pre-primary election campaigns. It's receiving about as much coverage as the wedding did. And what a wedding it was according to all the media accounts.

But was it a marriage?

Some say that the whirlwind courtship didn't allow enough time for the two to get to know each other before wedding. Male bovine droppings! I know of couples who wed less than two months after meeting and remained married for more than 40 years, until the death of one spouse. I've also known couples who dated for years before tying the not and ended up divorcing less than a year after the wedding.

No matter how long the courtship, a wedding is a social event; a marriage is a commitment. How much of a commitment did you make if you throw up your hands and toss in the towel at the first bump in the road? It takes work to make a marriage.

You may ask what I as a single man know about marriage. A single gay man at that. I spent 11 1/2 years with the same man. At that time marriage wasn't an option for lesbians and gays. But we exchanged rings, combined our households, and built a life together. We slept in the same bed right up to the very end. There are many reasons the relationship ended, and I take my share of the responsibility for its failure.

Sixteen years after we separated he is married to a man who seems to be good for him. They've made commitments, helped raise a child, and built a life together.

While I've dated off and on, I remain single. Sometimes that happens. Should the relationship come along that merited it, I would get married. Hopefully, I'd do a better job of it the second time.

But there are many individuals and groups who would deny me the legal right to marry. Because marriage is between a man and a woman. Even if it lasts only 72 days. Or Britney Spears' 55 hours. What hypocrisy!

Marriage is essentially a civil contract. It existed long before Christianity arrived on the scene. Even then, it was centuries before the church decided it should be part of the contract--primarily because church and state were hopelessly intertwined. They still are when it comes to marriage, especially in this country. Stop trying to equate civil contracts with religious belief.

It is not the church's business to enforce a civil contract. Should the church be involved in supporting the relationship of two people in a marriage? Absolutely! Bless them, provide a community of support for them, help them through the milestones of their life together.