The Yankee Leaves Campus

Friday morning I handed the work cell phone to my boss. I prepared a list of all incoming and outgoing guests for the weekend for her and my colleagues at the Welcome Center. Mid-afternoon I headed north. For the first time since I arrived five-and-one-half months ago, I left campus for more than a couple of hours and didn't have the cell phone attached to my hip for an entire weekend. In two-and-a-half hours I would be at my brother Scott's home in Pennsylvania.

I picked a route I hoped would avoid the worst of the Friday afternoon traffic. No such luck. Traffic crawled from Alexandria to just past Baltimore due to a series of fender benders. Once I got off I95 I had clear roads, although I did make one wrong turn and missed other one. So the two-and-one-half hour drive took about five hours. I arrived just minutes before Scott.

That began a weekend of surprises for Scott's birthday. My sister-in-law Maureen and I managed to keep my Friday arrival and Mom's and Bill's Saturday arrival secret. The middle of the boys almost spoiled it when he told his father he'd be home on Saturday, but it was reasonable that he'd come home for his father's birthday. Only when a family friend arrived at 5:00 p.m. Saturday evening did he finally really suspect something was up. Maureen even managed to keep the big present--an Alaskan cruise next summer--mostly secret.

For the first time in five-and-one-half months I got to see Mom and Bill. Mom and I email each other and chat on Facebook regularly, and we talk on the phone from time to time. But it's not the same as seeing each other in person. I remember a period of time during my college years that Mom and I went through a rough patch. My father called me and told me that I was going to go spend one weekend in Chicago with my grandparents while Mom was visiting them. Or else. I went. Grudgingly. We spent a lot of time sitting in silence. I don't think we said more than 10 words to each other that entire weekend. But after that the ice between us thawed, and we were able to start talking again.

Phone, snail mail, email, Facebook, Skype, and whatever other means of long distance communication now or in the future cannot replace actually being in the same room when it comes to relationships. Yes, I do have friends that I've never met in person, but those relationships really aren't as strong as those with whom I have in-person face time. Actually being with my family for a couple of days was incredibly refreshing.

Not having the work cell phone helped the weekend be one of refreshment and renewal. Along with the work cell phone I left my computer behind. If someone really needed to get a hold of me, I had my smart phone. If I had needed a computer, several were there that I could have used. While I didn't drop totally off the grid, I was only minimally connected. It's amazing how much time and space are created when you detach.

The transition back to campus went more smoothly. The lack of traffic and beautiful weather made for a nice, two-and-a-half hour drive home. I also brought back from Pennsylvania a couple of pieces of my past. Mom brought down from Connecticut her old Singer sewing machine, the one I learned to sew on as a child, refurbished and ready to go. And she brought a couple of the old Revereware pans for me, too (the new stuff they make sucks, to put it bluntly). Do these things make me feel more at home in my new apartment, community, state? Probably not. They will definitely help me make this be home because they are things I will use on a regular basis. The fact that they are part of my history is simply a nice thing, an added benefit.

I probably won't get away again until Christmas when I go back up to Pennsylvania for Christmas. But early next year we'll have a couple of student assistants, so I'll be able to go away for a couple of days more frequently. There's a lot of Virginia I want to explore.