Thirty-Seven Days

Reality sets in.

Yesterday I didn't leave the apartment. That was probably a mistake. Well, I did go for a walk, but that is definitely a solitary a activity. I read. I packed some boxes. I read. I started filling a third big garbage bag. I read. I added to the Goodwill pile. Do you detect a pattern here?

I looked at next week's To Do List:

• Inform the management company I'm vacating the apartment at the end of April
• Notify gas company to disconnect at the end of April
• Notify electric company to disconnect at the end of April

This particular list consists of concrete steps involved in shutting down one home in order to move to a new one. It really brought me up short. I am really leaving Connecticut. I am really leaving family, friends, church, and everything familiar behind. Maybe it's been the the excitement of starting something new. Or perhaps the time I've spent dealing with other people's emotional reactions to my leaving. Or worrying about the finances of the last couple of months of unemployment. Or all of the above.

I should have gone out yesterday, even if only to spend an hour or so at the nearby Starbucks. Change of scenery, people to watch, and no stack of boxes staring me in the face. By evening I was highly emotional. You know that emotional place where TV commercials make you teary? I hate being in that place. I'd have turned off the TV, but I needed the distraction.

Today's distraction consisted of Rachel and I having breakfast together and then looking at new chairs for her deck. We also stopped at a paint store for a preliminary look at colors for the new apartment. Another twilight zone moment.